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What is the way to acheive a strong and joyful union? |
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Written by Webmaster
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By fongsuimy
 Are the majority of couples married a long time unhappy with their relationship? This question has been vexing me for eternity. As a Feng Shui consultant, I come across many clients with less than happy marriages. I'm often asked by those I help what the secret of a good marriage is.
Therefore, I consulted a few of my married friends and took their opinion. Members of the selected group are over fifty years old and are currently involved in long-term marriages. Their answer shocked me. Based on anecdotes they have from their own experiences and those from friends, they think that nine out of ten married couples are somehow unhappy in their marriage.
Sadly, they don't have fairy tale happy endings.
Does a cure exist? It may be possible.
In many olden societies, such as the Chinese, where arranged marriages are commonplace, it is a practice to check the horoscope The horoscope of the betrothed pair are evaluated, before they are permitted to marry.
Will this provide the desired results? It increases your odds, but it doesn't always
work. However through years of observation, they found out that if you combine it with some conditions, you can increase the chances of having a happy and lasting marriage.
While this wisdom is for everyone, it is even more critical for those with a history of unsuccessful marriages or relationships, to take note.
Some of the applicable conditions are as follows.
In the old days, the husband must always be older than the wife. This is like a tradition. It cannot and should not be broken. The ancients further found that regarding those in poor unions, breaking the learned behaviors worked well. In ancient times the Chinese believed that a wife was older, even if she had been born only a day before her husband. Although, for an improved outcome, a greater age difference is optimal.
The other option for a more successful relationship is for the husband to be much older than the wife. To the ancient Chinese, much older means at least 8 years apart. In practice, ten or fifteen years older is perfectly permitted or wanted.
It would also increase the chances if there is a big disparity in the social and economic standard between the husband and the wife. One example would be a corporate officer with a graduate degree married to a women from a humble family and with little education. Can it be the other way around? A husband being always a breadwinner in olden days it was not possible. As women are earning more than their husbands today,why not?
The second condition applies to ladies only - especially the elderly. If she cannot be a successful first wife, it does not mean that she cannot be successful being the second or third one. Being in the position of being the other person in a man's life, can bring you long term success I feel doubtful about being the other guy, however!
If nothing above works what do we do?
The final option is to have a spouse that is of a different race or from a different culture. For example, an Indian and a Chinese or between two Chinese brought up in different places. Having one raised in China and one raised in the United States would be a good example.
These are wisdoms that our forefathers have passed down to us. So, and especially, if you are relationship challenged, give it a try. Nothing to lose here!
Henry Fong
Feng Shui Consultant
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